Visiting Dachau Concentration Camp

This is probably going to be the least funny thing you ever read on this blog, however, I believe it is a story that definitely needs telling. Ugly criers, avert your eyes! Actually, writing this is a lot like watching a sitcom tackling a serious subject in an attempt at public education. For instance, that time DJ Tanner got busted for drinking beer at the school dance. Or that time Zack and Slater found that “roach” in the school bathroom. There’s no hope, with dope! And do I even need to mention the time that Carlton Banks bought a gun? OK maybe this was just an awkward phase of the 90s… but I’m bringing it back! That, along with scrunchies and Lisa Frank.

Modern Toilet: The Crappiest Restaurant in Taiwan

You just haven’t lived until you’ve eaten soup out of a steaming hot toilet. In my opinion at least. Pull up a porcelain throne and hear me out…

Taiwan is a place bursting with quirky eateries like the Hello Kitty Kitchen, a hospital themed restaurant confusingly named D.S. Music Restaurant where your beer is served in the form of an IV drip (the only way if you ask me), a Barbie café, and worst of all (Yes, there is something worse than a Barbie café. OK, maybe tied for worst.), an airplane themed restaurant. Something about eating crappy food in a cramped space full of other people’s used air and bony elbows just deflates my appetite. Oddly enough though, eating poo-shaped ice cream out of a squat toilet is totally sane. 

How to Totally Nail Your First Trip Abroad

My first four trips out of the country were to a place not often visited for pleasure, Venezuela, one of the most dangerous countries in the world. I am very lucky that these were my first trips because the odds of my going there now are about as low as Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz can get. I was so naïve… I mean, so, soooo naïve. But because of this, I was able to have more fun than a tornado in a trailer park and with very little anxiety. Somehow, I made it out alive and unharmed. Would I visit there today, knowing what I know now? Almost definitely no. Am I glad that I went? Oh hell yes. Ignorance is bliss my friends.

Do This, Not That at Neuschwanstein Castle

I once got so lost in Taiwan that I ended up wandering the streets for hours in the middle of the night ugly-crying my eyes out begging everyone I saw to speak English. I got kicked out of three cabs that night. On that same trip I ate lunch at a restaurant lit with the glow from urinals being used as lamps, had toilets for seats, and served poop-shaped chocolate ice cream. Clearly my life is a fairy tale, so it’s no surprise I have a fascination with all things magical. Talking animals, creepy old witches living in cottages in the woods, enchanted forests, and of course castles, the one thing in this list that actually exists (that we know of – dun dun dun!). I live in the United States of America, a most un-magical place, so it’s not every day that I get to explore a real-life medieval castle. However, I was lucky enough in 2014 to visit two, one of them being the queen mother of all fairytale castles.